Over the years my insecurities have not been dormant. It used to be about how an injury would swell on my face when I collided with a neighbor in a ballgame (although, after all that, I didn't really care besides the pain). Then it moved to worrisome teenage skin. Now... much of all that has remained the same... just shifted, upgraded, never demolished.
I began wearing makeup when I was 16. It was not good for my self image. Turns out that being terrible at applying cosmetics can be worse than going natural in the first place. While this gradually improved, there were other things... my ears became pierced and decorated, my wardrobe housed new high-heeled calf-hugging boots, my dresses became shorter, and my hair remained a frizzy mess (...or perhaps a nicer frizzy mess). The beauty world spun my head around. It also fast emptied my pockets.
I do a lot of reminiscing - maybe I'm secretly too old for my own good, and too young to do anything about it. The past was so nice, when the choices were simple. Sneakers or bare feet? T-shirt or dress? Long gone are the days when practical necessity dictated my appearance; tying up my hair when it was windy, wearing a scarf when it was cold, and the only pharmaceutical products I touched were to fix up my broken skin and the occasional headache.
Yes, there are downfalls for being a Christian woman living in a world like this. Yes, I wear makeup almost daily and I take care with my clothing. I enjoy the me-time if I'm completely honest! The downfall comes when thinking through everything, after I take my makeup off again and wash my face, and take off those pretty scarves, what do I think when I look in the mirror?
- I'm ugly
- I need to look nicer
- No one can see me like this
- Other people won't find me pretty
- I can make myself better
If any of those examples, womanhood is doomed. Positive thoughts are these:
- I'm beautiful
- I do look nice!
- Other people notice I'm making an effort
- Big things come in small packages
- God says I'm gorgeous
I must respectfully say that these examples are also wrong. The only thing different with them is the positive/negative tones, otherwise they're still the same fundamentally.
It's not a coincidence that several words have the common prefix "self" - here's a list of a few.
- confidence
- esteem
- hatred
- sufficiency
- image
- righteousness
I'm a Christian. So, I'm going to be blunt about my faith for a second. When I've talked to God it comes across as though the world has things fully backward. When I talk to the world, I get lies; from God, I get truth. God is very refreshing! He puts in place the concept that confidence is humility. Let's turn our heads around.
- God is beautiful
- God is our focus of esteem
- God hates lies but loves the world despite them
- God is our sufficiency
- God made us in His image
- God is our righteousness
All those years and I am still learning the point of Scripture where it says, somewhere, everywhere, that God must be our focus. In practical life when I see a woman all dolled up in makeup and high-heeled boots and pretty jewelry, my mind does not engage her with the word "beautiful" until I see that amazing, non-Colgate smile she tries to hide because that's her insecurity. Love God and the rest will be fine. Feel free to wear nice clothes and apply some cosmetics tastefully. Please - remember the most important thing. GOD is a woman's confidence. Her joy is in HIM, and her beauty comes from HIM. It is not herself who shines but His presence in her heart telling the world, "I'm God and this is MY girl."
I'm no expert on fashion or cosmetics. Honestly, some days I think I look awful (yep, it's an ongoing struggle). But can we at least study the Bible before we apply our makeup? Can we chat to God while we're changing our clothes? Can we tithe our me-time so God get's the 90% instead of us? Practically I have only simplistic advice. Wear clothes that fit and cover you, wear colors which bring out your eyes, and for goodness sake, SMILE like you're a queen. Women have so forgotten the lost art of laughter and smiling! Bring that back and trade the codswallop for God's truth.
Just enjoy God in the days that He has made for you.
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